#NaNoWriMo2016 a lesson in Pushing through Depression

So far #NaNoWriMo2016 has been an exercise in pushing forward creativity.  As our Guest Blog touched on the other day depression and anxiety are tricky things. On one hand, psychologically, depression has been linked to creativity. But on the other hand it is so difficult to slip into a deep bout of being unable to do anything with concentration or joy. I’ll be honest my not concentrating is what is making this post possible. However the goal of NaNoWriMo and structure of it really urges me to go forward. Better yet there are prompts, events, and forums that can really help get you into writing; not just the act, but the mindset of writing, which can be hard to enter when you feel the exhaustion of depressive anxiety.

As I struggle with the last few days, with legitimate fears and the frequent response of others that my fears have no merit….often like how they dismiss how every other aspect of who I am lacks credibility or merit though they’re too “good” to admit that, I find myself turning to my daily writing sessions for solace. I find myself begging to do something and that something right now is diving into my creative works. Earlier I didn’t work on my novels, but I began looking through years old folders for stories because I will be damned if my voice, my views, and people who look like me will be ignored.

Sometimes it makes me feel a bit guilty. I imagine for many of you that may be the case. You write and write and then…don’t for several days then you’re behind and that makes you anxious. It happens. I’m sorry. For me I drift between the buoys of how my anxiety and depression manifest.  Right now energy surges through my nerves and veins under my skin. So to sit down and make it manifest as something is awesome instead of having that energy turn into pure weight. This event doesn’t lessen my other feelings or mean I can’t care about multiple things at once. I’m poly so I got the feelings part sorta down pact. Depression means that writing at a time like this makes a person feel connected and useful even in disconnected feelings. After so many years of eye rolling this big ol’event the use and power of it now hits me in the face. I just create. You can just take your power and put it into something and we don’t always get that lucky. If you can do this too then you’re lucky. Maybe it is pure luck that I can do this and not just not feel like doing anything, but regardless NaNoWriMo2016 is saving my mental health thoroughly by keeping me working in a non-toxic environment with a struture that pushes me to work harder, better, and longer….and enjoy as much of it as I can. Even if you disagree with my politics we can both agree this American election…hell this year has been rough. Sometimes we need something to set our minds to work, and after all this a good thing to work on, to give structure, and to get positivety from is what we all need.

If any of you are doing NaNoWriMo I’d love to talk to you about it! Tell me what you’re working on in the comments or give feedback to this post.

 

Learn More about NaNoWriMo here!

Follow me on Facebook!

 

Advertisements

7 thoughts on “#NaNoWriMo2016 a lesson in Pushing through Depression

  1. I’m not doing NaNoWriMo but I do know what you mean; I’ve been going through a bout of deeper than usual depression recently and it’s really making it tough with my writing.
    If it wasn’t for the fact that I’m typing up a handwritten first draft right now, I’m not sure I’d be getting much done at all, as it is I’m not doing as much as I feel I should, and I don’t feel confident about what I am doing.
    Every time I sit down at the computer I wonder why I’m bothering, but some small part of me won’t let me just give it up and find another path.

    Like

    1. The part of you that won’t let you stop is right! Every few months (if I’m lucky) I end up in a similar way. The one thing that I always do to try to combat the feeling of my writing being good is writing about what I like. Sometimes is it like pulling teeth, but if I think about why I wanted to start writing in the first place. Even if I don’t feel it I know if I have reasons then I have to keep going because I will regret it if I don’t.

      I’m wishing you the best. If you ever want someone to give feedback or bounce ideas off of, or a cheerleader as to whether you should keep writing I’m always here. Good luck and thank you for commenting!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks, it does help to have someone to give you a nudge to keep you going, or even someone who will push you into a chair and chain you to the laptop so you have to write.
        Hope you keep doing well with your NaNoWriMo and your mood stays positive, or as positive as possible

        Like

  2. I have never heard of nanowrimo but would love to know more. All the rest of it I agree with but honey anyone who hasn’t suffered with anxiety and depression will never understand it anymore than a person who has never experienced hell born anger can understand being furious. Anxiety and depression are extreme emotions – luckily not everyone feels these destructive feelings to their full extent so they confuse the lesser controllable issue with the deeper one.
    Perhaps, but that is just my 2 cents worth.
    Great artists and writers think and feel deeply which is both their curse and their blessing and they have no control over it. It’s their gift 🎁

    Like

    1. Nanowrimo makes for a fun challenge. Basically you try to write a novel in a month or roughly 50k words, which is about 1667 words a day. The idea is to just get you creating. No over editing. No over planning. No losing interest because you’ve sat on an idea too long. Just fun work while connecting with other people participating both online and in person. Having tried it I recommend it!
      And you’re very right. If someone hasn’t been through depression or anxiety as something more than a brief emotion or event they can really struggle. The hard part for me that a lot of people don’t get is when they manifest as a sort of paralysis. You want to do things but everything you try to do just doesn’t make you feel anything. Its an absence of feeling almost. The most we can hope for is for others to recognize that it isn’t just “I’m sad” or “I’m nervous” or even “This made me nervous”…it is so much deeper. Thank you for commenting by the way!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I do hope you feel more positively soon. I don’t suffer from depression but my Mother suffered – so watching this beautiful person going through it and being unable to help was terrible. I do understand it is out of your control – if Mum who was the strongest person I know couldn’t – what hope for others. But there is hope because her life was not defined by the bad times she went through – it was defined by the good person she was. I’m sure yours will be too. Best wishes and I’ll look up Nano it would be fun.

        Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s