I’ve written several times (here, for example, and here), about why, in real life, I’d always rather be on the pill. I like semen. I like spontaneity. I like intimacy. To a certain exte…
I agree with what a lot of the author here says, but to me contraceptives come down to one thing…anything can be sexy if you set it up to be sexy. I don’t mean describing putting on a condom like taking off lingerie. I mean if you make it fit then it will fit. I love writing bdsm and toying with the mental aspects of it, and I know many people love integrating contraceptives into the “game”. The billionaire gets his secretary on the pill because its his choice not hers anymore. Hot. Sexy. Dominance that she actually agrees with. Great. It certainly surpasses doing nothing because you can’t help but wonder in many stories what is going on. The secretary and the billionaire are going at it like a couple of animals and she only gets pregnant at the happily ever after? That is ok, but it is a bit laughable. For longer more full stories at some point you’re gonna have to tap into that and make choices about how.
How you do it is what makes it sexy. When you get into how you have to get into the scenario…and ask if they’re even going to pause to ask or do anything to prevent anything negative or unwanted from happening. Beyond the billionaire example there are different ways to talk about this without it being shoveled in. The worst and most unerotic thing to do is to randomly drop “The secretary knew it’d be fine if he finished inside her…after all she was on the pill.”. That line isn’t in her head. That line takes us away from her perspective like we’re being tackled by security guards.Sometimes you have characters who don’t think about it. In my Lita Loves Tales she’s on the pill but the momentum of the story in White Hot Room is so forward that contraceptives are the farthest thing from her mind. In book two she mentions being on the pill. It’s a small scene, but she reflects on the fact that she loves sexual fluids and is glad she’s on it. In another hot scene she handpicks male partners with her dominant to choose who will ejaculate inside her. It’s a simple conversation that becomes a game. In other stories the goal is to make it just as organic. Some characters do just randomly worry about that sort of thing and others will ask a partner to wear a condom while making out. The duty of the author is to make the reader believe it and not lose their arousal.
Condoms are an oft vilified thing, but if you can sort of explore it and not make it awkward than you get something. In The Black Hat Society K.K is penetrated by a male dominant and as he puts on the condom she becomes entranced by the sight of his erection. She thinks about how watching her, beating her, treating her like a toy made him that excited. She thinks about how appealing a penis can be, and the anticipation to know what he feels like is driving her crazy. The condom becomes a symbol of his care for her, of her being topped by him, of her penetration and consented violation in front of an eager crowd who can do the same whenever they wish. For K.K this is better than the game…it is the best feeling she could imagine and it is intoxicating. Just because there is symbology doesn’t mean it is some great mythic thing. No it is her, a woman, being aroused and naturally her mind signalling “This is what is happening and this is how I feel”. It isn’t complicated to convey (though all feelings are complex). It heightens the sex. It heightens the joy of it.
Contraceptives can be sexy…so long as you make it sexy.