Erotica: Response to Condoms: fictional contraceptive of choice

I’ve written several times (here, for example, and here), about why, in real life, I’d always rather be on the pill. I like semen. I like spontaneity. I like intimacy. To a certain exte…

Source: Condoms: fictional contraceptive of choice

I agree with what a lot of the author here says, but to me contraceptives come down to one thing…anything can be sexy if you set it up to be sexy. I don’t mean describing putting on a condom like taking off lingerie. I mean if you make it fit then it will fit. I love writing bdsm and toying with the mental aspects of it, and I know many people love integrating contraceptives into the “game”. The billionaire gets his secretary on the pill because its his choice not hers anymore. Hot. Sexy. Dominance that she actually agrees with. Great. It certainly surpasses doing nothing because you can’t help but wonder in many stories what is going on. The secretary and the billionaire are going at it like a couple of animals and she only gets pregnant at the happily ever after? That is ok, but it is a bit laughable. For longer more full stories at some point you’re gonna have to tap into that and make choices about how.

How you do it is what makes it sexy. When you get into how you have to get into the scenario…and ask if they’re even going to pause to ask or do anything to prevent anything negative or unwanted from happening. Beyond the billionaire example there are different ways to talk about this without it being shoveled in. The worst and most unerotic thing to do is to randomly drop “The secretary knew it’d be fine if he finished inside her…after all she was on the pill.”. That line isn’t in her head. That line takes us away from her perspective like we’re being tackled by security guards.Sometimes you have characters who don’t think about it. In my Lita Loves Tales she’s on the pill but the momentum of the story in White Hot Room is so forward that contraceptives are the farthest thing from her mind. In book two she mentions being on the pill. It’s a small scene, but she reflects on the fact that she loves sexual fluids and is glad she’s on it. In another hot scene she handpicks male partners with her dominant to choose who will ejaculate inside her. It’s a simple conversation that becomes a game. In other stories the goal is to make it just as organic. Some characters do just randomly worry about that sort of thing and others will ask a partner to wear a condom while making out. The duty of the author is to make the reader believe it and not lose their arousal.

Condoms are an oft vilified thing, but if you can sort of explore it and not make it awkward than you get something. In The Black Hat Society K.K is penetrated by a male dominant and as he puts on the condom she becomes entranced by the sight of his erection. She thinks about how watching her, beating her, treating her like a toy made him that excited. She thinks about how appealing a penis can be, and the anticipation to know what he feels like is driving her crazy. The condom becomes a symbol of his care for her, of her being topped by him, of her penetration and consented violation  in front of an eager crowd who can do the same whenever they wish. For K.K this is better than the game…it is the best feeling she could imagine and it is intoxicating. Just because there is symbology doesn’t mean it is some great mythic thing. No it is her, a woman, being aroused and naturally her mind signalling “This is what is happening and this is how I feel”. It isn’t complicated to convey (though all feelings are complex). It heightens the sex. It heightens the joy of it.

Contraceptives can be sexy…so long as you make it sexy.

2 thoughts on “Erotica: Response to Condoms: fictional contraceptive of choice

  1. Thank you for a very interesting post. I’ve often wondered to what extent a writer has to go to be Politically Correct and show the poor guy fumbling about for the condom.

    I know in movies where suddenly the “action” stops while the hot little honey waits for the man to get his protection on…the viewer, like the girl, is suddenly bored. “Will he hurry up, dammit!”

    I think your concept of keeping the scene intense without the condom pause is from a narrative point of view, the right thing to do. And then refer back to the protection business later. Unless, as you say, getting prepared, as it were, becomes a part of the erotic play.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for commenting! I think there is a time and place for everything. It is all about finding that time and place in a novel or short story.

      I write a lot of fantasy fiction, and in one of my stories there is a big deal given to lineage, and what is proper for different cultures of nobility. The main character is the heir to a lot of responsibilities and is currently undertaking a large responsibility traveling as her grandfather’s eyes and ears, often doing good deeds on the way. When she and her love interest begin contemplating sex she can’t afford for it to be without thought. So she researches sexual magic on how to prevent pregnancy alongside the things other women taught her. Something like that offers insight into her culture, her fears, and her desires for a future…and even her sexual desires. Her fretting was far more organic than pausing to write a treatise on birth control. My feeling is that every person thinks about pregnancy, STIs, etc. if they feel they have to. So you have to find where the characters feel that worry…or that joy. Sometimes though it just doesn’t fit, and you can hand wave the logistics of it. But to pretend it never crosses someone’s mind especially in a longer piece where sex happens a lot feels unreal to me.

      I find it a hell of a lot of fun.

      Liked by 1 person

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